I am having a crisis of faith today.
My cat doesn’t give a shit.
She’s like, “Pet me. Stop typing and pet me.”
It’s really that simple. Right?
She flops on the mouse. My hands on the keyboard and demands my attention. “STAY IN THIS MOMENT WITH ME! Do not worry. Do not look into the future. Do not think about money. Just look at me. Love me.”…she says with her eyes and her purr. Narcissistic little fucker.
She’s right though. And it works! Petting her makes me stop. Makes me breathe. Makes me think about ONLY – THIS – MOMENT. Only her soft fur. Her vibrating body. The crazy way all of those different colors and patterns grew out of her skin to make her fur look the way it does. Next thing you know, I’m not worrying about money, the future, or anything. Crazy shit. It’s just that simple.
I used to hate cats. They freaked me out. I grew up with dogs. And even those I didn’t understand much. I hated the way cats DEMANDED attention and their eyes completely unnerved me…little slits were like what I heard the devil was in Catholic school. NO THANKS! They shoved their butts in your face; they crapped indoors and you were expected to clean it up; and they walked all over your stuff! There was NO WAY I was ever going to get a cat!! Then, I got a kitten. And another. And another. I don’t wanna talk about it. Let’s just say, I thought I knew a lot about a lot when I was “out there running the show”. Now… I am completely in love with cats. Sobriety changed me…in every way. For example… I started this post full of fear about changing my career, having no money, and not knowing WHAT THE FUCK I’M DOING WITH THIS WEBSITE. Now, after talking about my cat(s), I just want to drink my coffee, keep feeling grateful for this gorgeous being on my lap, and love that I get to sit here in faith knowing that all is well.
Sobriety doesn’t suck.