What do you do now that you’re sober?!?!
How does anyone have fun? Socialize? Interact with…LIFE? I always had one addiction or another working at all times. If it wasn’t my anorexia, it was my love addiction. If it wasn’t my love addiction, it was my alcoholism.
The idea of living life without juggling one of my plates of addiction was incomprehensible! What would I do sober?!?
It was a very…….slow…….process. I had to listen to the people who went before me. (Thank you Kate and Irene!) And take it – I’m sorry to say – one day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time. It was rough going at first. I’m not gonna lie. But change happened.
I am fortunate to have my journals from 26 years ago, and my memory (for the most part). So, I can remember some of the things I did to keep myself busy during those early days, as I got more sobriety, and finally as I felt firm in my sobriety.
I have created a form (in Microsoft Word) for you to print and fill out. On it, you can create your own list of sober things you may like to do. Just click on this link –> Sober Things To Do List – June 18, 2019
Below, are lists of things I did, broken down by my level of sobriety. I’m sure I forgot something! If you can think of any others that would be helpful to people who read this post, please respond in the “Comments” section below or on my Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter pages. It’s always great to share ideas! The more the better!
Within my first few weeks/months of sobriety, I put the money I saved on alcohol (etc.) into new SOBER activities:
- 12-Step Program meetings (daily…sometimes twice a day!)
- Met with my Sponsor (that I found through the 12-Step Programs)
- Hung out with other SOBER people before and after the meetings:
- Had breakfast, lunch, dinner, and/or coffee with these SOBER people at their houses or at restaurants (if I had the money)
- Went to and rented movies
- Went on road trips to visit people that I put off/avoided seeing because of my addictions. Also saw some cool shit!
- Took a lot of walks while listening to music (that didn’t make me want to use)
- Long bike rides
- GOT OUT OF MY HEAD AND OUT OF MY HOUSE! When I was around other people, in fresh air, I wasn’t as tempted to act out.
- I went to listen to poetry readings and comedy skits at COFFEE HOUSES instead of bars or nightclubs.
- Sober dances. I helped to organize sober dances. If you want information about these, let me know. You can find out where some are in your area through 12-Step Programs, or I can tell you how to start your own!
After I had a year or more of sobriety and felt strong enough to be around myself and my addictions for awhile:
- Celebrated holidays with people who were or were not drinking (without needing an escape plan!)
- Went to parties where there would be alcohol, single people, and food (without needing an escape plan!)
- Went dancing at nightclubs
- Saw comedy at clubs, in addition to coffee houses
- Hung out with people who were sober, or not
- Took more risks to try new things like:
- Moving to a big city
- Taking a hike in a rainforest
- Visiting the ocean by myself
- Volunteered doing things I always wanted to do (i.e.- Serving Thanksgiving dinner to the homeless.)
- Sponsoring other people in those 12-Step Programs
After a few years of sobriety I was ready to do some of the bigger things on the ole “to-do” list:
- Got married
- Earned my Master’s Degree
- Moved across the country to an island that I’d never heard of
- Took a cruise
- Visited the Caribbean
- Started a CAREER, instead of one job after another
- Picked up new hobbies
- Started my own 12-Step meetings
Here’s what I love about lists: You get to write them in pencil! They are not etched in stone. They are not permanent. You can make a list, say, “Fuck it!” and write a new list. OR, you can write a list, finish everything on that list, and hang it up feeling good about yourself and what you accomplished as a SOBER person.
The list is yours. What would you like to do – SOBER – today?