Hello Fellow Alcoholics, My name is Mike. I had my first drink when I was 18 years old. I am nearly 70. I currently have 95 days of continuous sobriety. During that 52 year period I have put together periods of sobriety as long as 14 years and as brief as a few months. I am not perfect in my approach to recovery because I still have a problem with not liking how life makes me feel. Sometimes my bad attitude towards life makes me conclude that I don’t care. At that point “fuck it” comes barging in the door and I am drunk and loaded. Despite my struggles I keep trying “a day at a time” to stay sober. I have been in and out of hospitals, jails, relationships, a marriage, and alienated family members. I have done damage to my body that I can never fix. What I want to express is that, despite all that, I know that sobriety is preferable to suffering. I know because I have a host of family and friends who never gave up on me no matter how many times I gave up on myself. In relapse I ignore them. In relapse I pull away and isolate. In relapse I feel alone even though I am not. I stay sober a day at a time. Sometimes 10 minutes at a time. If I could learn to care about me as much as my friends and family do, I would be happy all the time. I have spent time alone with guilt, remorse, fear, and self-loathing. It sucks! I have spent many months and years in recovery and it was awesome. Today I feel good. Tomorrow I may not. Life has challenges. Rarely can we successfully cope alone. We all need help. I have many friends. They know me enough to encourage me to refrain from isolating.